video description, 2025-07-08
Remember when life was simple, when shoes only came in your dad’s size, and your dad was a centaur who didn’t wear shoes in the first place? Well remember no more with new Tanpant Pantangelo. Tanpant Pantangelo is made from a new industrial grade polyponnesian macrofibre, hand-forsaken by a roadside near you, now showing in slitrovision, the 128x1 aspect ratio the whole family can’t enjoy. With Tanpant Pantangelo, your Susan B. Anthony will be BEGGING you to honor her with a commemorative silver dollar. No more messy wheat pennies, peat whennies or two-headed quarters for you, Jazzdoink. You’ll be rolling around naked in silver-cast Susan B. Anthony heads, each one looking commemoratively to the side to protect your modesty, something you obviously don’t care about yourself.
So care about it yourself with new Tanpant Pantangelo, now in three vomit-inducing flavors to suit even the least discriminating connoisseur. Baked by the Manson family.