video description, 2021-07-16
Dear lord, it’s tropical fish cancer! Tropical fish cancer, not to be confused with tropical fish capricorn, but yes to be infused with a tropical fish blood transfusion from the rare bloodfish tropicalium. Now hurry on down, one and all, to your local tropical fish blood bank, and squeeze every last drop out of those little bastards before tossing them into a bin so that some other, less deserving tropical fish who was drunk driving and wrapped his Toyota Prius around a telephone pole can live to see another sunrise. Yes, it’s Toyotaphone Sunrise, starring Kurt Russell as Dr. Kildaire, and Bonnie Hunt as Dr. Kildaire with a Wig On. The Kildaires’ Family Wig, Thorny, is played by next door neighbor Don DeFore.
Episode One: The Uneventful Time Waste.
“Dr. Kildaire, Dr. Kildaire, your next bled-out tropical fish patient is waiting to see you, right there in the bin, where I just tossed him.”
“Not now, Nurse Me-With-a-Wig-On, another drunken telephone pole has just wrapped his bloodfish tropicalium around a Toyota Prius! Let’s pour donated blood all over them both! Oh? What’s that, Family Wig Thorny who’s played by our next door neighbor? You’re an inanimate object and did not therefore just say something to me, meaning that I’ve responded to absolute silence just now? Don’t worry ole chum, there’s plenty of squeezed-out tropical fish blood for everyo—.”
“Dr. Kildaire! Dr. Kildaire! It’s me, Nurse You-with-a-Wig-On again. I’ve just discovered the cure for tropical fish cancer!”
“Too bad all the tropical fish who could have availed themselves of it are lying dead in that bin with all their blood squeezed out, eh, Nurse?”
“That’s right, hitherto-inanimate-wig-on-the-top-of-my-head-who-has-somehow-suddenly-become-sentient-for-no-reason! And knowing is twice the battle! G.I. Joasdflkahdfladjkfh hlasdkbflksjabf”